This part of my life is called hope. Hope to love again. Hope to trust again. Hope to be loved again. Hope to find the values I had in life still exist and are real. Hope that not everything is a lie.
Happiness is not a constant state of being. It's a moment in time. Trying to achieve constant happiness is an utopia. We all have the right to pursue happiness. Pursue! That's the word. Finding it is even harder. Once found keeping it would be the key issue. Happiness is not there all the time, not constantly from when you open your eyes in the morning till you go to sleep at night, not twenty four hours a day, not seven days a week.
Happiness are all those little and big magnificent awesome moments in life. Moments in time. All in between real and often boring daily life. Happiness can't be a goal, it has to be a result. Life is a chain, full of happy links, mixed with boring links, sad links, freighting, troubling and many, many more negative and positive links. All connected. That's life, weather you like it or not. This why I have no trouble being happy, because I accept the not so happy links in my life. So far I had a very happy and exiting life. Part two will have to be no less.
Sure I am in a bit of a dip right now but from here on the only way is up. I will be taking life as it comes, deal with it. I will not run from it. More dips are to be expected but I'm sure they will become far and few between.
The things I plan to do make me realise I will not have enough time. In between working, household and looking after the kids I want to write, read, publish, take photo's, blog, travel, meet new people, do stuff I've never done before. When in a relationship, say marriage or full-time relationship there is hardly any time to do much of this or you think so. Being single it suddenly becomes a whole different ball game. The world suddenly becomes my oyster.
My first priority will be to get to know myself. Learn who I am and explore myself. Find new things to do, new hobbies, things that I always wanted to do but couldn't or put off because of other commitments. Meet new people, make new friends, strengthen the bonds with family, revive and maintain current and old friendships. If then, in time, someone special comes along - she will have to be very special - I will open my hart again. I will not be afraid to get hurt again. It is still better to have loved and get hurt than never to have loved.
Stephen
